I grew up in Berlin and in our kitchen we had a little canary bird in a cage. In my heart I felt trapped like this bird. I was in a prison – the prison of bitterness and unforgiveness, the captivity of addictions, the emotional bondage of anger and pride, and most of all a self-made (bird) cage of fear. The fear of man, of rejection and condemnation.
But one night I had this dream: flying like a free bird, soaring like an eagle, over white clouds and colorful rainbows. That was enough! There must be freedom out there somewhere! Then the one and only all important question rose in my heart: Who are you? Really, If you think you are a little sad bird in a cage – you are one. If you think you can be free like an eagle – you will be! I made the decision for Freedom. And there the treasure hunt started. My search for freedom.
I thought that true freedom could surely be found in Africa. I had dreamed about Africa since I was little. I saw documentaries about David Livingstone. That sounds adventurous, that’s what I was. I used Motorbikes as my traveling tool of choice. It took three attempts to cross the Sahara Desert. Then I finally sold everything, and set out on a big trip crossing the whole African continent. Two years later, I arrived in Cape Town. One thing I did not know: All the time I carried my prison along. And I settled in Namibia, lived for many years in the desert still not knowing where to find freedom. I got very frustrated, but then I remembered the dream of my childhood, that flying has to be the ultimate freedom. And it was. But first I had to die to myself. I crashed with an aircraft in South Africa, and not only the aircraft broke into pieces, it also broke the pride in my heart. The aircraft caught fire immediately and I was trapped, the flames were bursting into the cockpit, the fire extinguisher did not work against the flames, but I used it to break the door into freedom.
Yes, I survived the crash without a scratch or burned hair and the
treasure hunt, after thirty years of searching was over! Because the next morning – in a church in Pretoria called Hatfield, I meet The True Door into freedom – in person: His name is Jesus Christ. After all those years of searching, I was so broken, that I said yes, when they asked who wants to try Jesus as Lord and Savior? Why not? My hand rose high, And then immediately I am caught up in a vision: I leave my body, seeing me standing from behind as Jesus himself enters into my heart. It was a real physical experience, like open heart surgery without anesthesia, and the intensity presses me on the floor, rivers of tears gushing out of my eyes, trying to escape this unknown weight of glory I crawl under the chairs, sobbing so hard , leaving a track of slime behind, while trying to reach the toilet, crawling past lots of astonished people, and a knowledge forms in my heart: Jesus Christ. He is the door. And He is the only way to freedom and to abundant life. The vision fades, but suddenly I see colors, the sky is so blue, the trees are clapping their hands, and my heart is filled with a new song of love I have never known before.
It doesn’t mean I have arrived, but I am on my way, and freedom comes day by day, as I am renewed in the knowledge of the image of Him who created me. Col 3.10 Here I am now in Livingstone in Zambia – free like a bird, flying passengers over the Victoria Falls. And daily over rainbows! And often I share and joke with my passengers about the old Irish proverb, saying: There is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow…But there is a precious time after the rain when the spray is rising so high that the truth can be revealed: Then it is possible to see the rainbow as it really is: a closed full circle. Like God's love – never ending. And sometimes in the centre of the rainbow a perfect reflection of ourselves in the aircraft can be seen – showing us where the real treasure is: right in our hearts! That’s the flying fish …and I am honoured to share this testimony with my passengers – and with you.